He responded with: “It feels like we’ve been here before, right? “In fact, we’re here to […] Is it time to move beyond the drama?
On the Wednesday, November 8, episode of The Real Housewives of New Jersey, it seemed that some of the women were finally ready to bury old quarrels and move forward.
Webb tracked everything from the number of times a date made her high-five him to how often he made an awkward sexual remark. "It turns out that these probably weren't bad guys," she says in a TED talk.
"They were just bad for me." The reason they were bad for her wasn't because the websites' algorithms were off.
After filling in all of the questionnaire and getting a few responses, she ventured out to meet her first match. Once she arrived at the glamorous restaurant he'd picked out, he began making lewd jokes and ordering tons of food.
Then, just before the waiter dropped off the massive bill, the date left, never to be seen again. When the dates didn't improve, she started logging them in a spreadsheet, pulling out dozens of data points on her alleged "matches" in an attempt to discover what was going wrong.
Of the three she'd included in her profile, one was too zoomed out to even see her, another was too close-up to be flattering on anyone, and a third was poorly lit.
Second, because she had been busy when she filled out the site's questionnaire, she had simply copy-pasted information from her resume into the blank spaces below the questions. Using her findings, Webb gave her profile a make-over.
It took Amy Webb a few passes around the online dating world to see the one glaring problem with sites like Match.com: People who use them — herself included — don't answer the questions honestly.
As a result, users get matched up with people they have nothing in common with and, date after torturous date, they're left asking themselves 'What is wrong with me? To get the date you really want, you have to hack the system.
In order to meet her real matches, Webb realized, she had to find out what her match was looking for.
In other words, she had to reverse-engineer the dating game.
Hear the story of how she went on to hack her online dating life — with funny, frustrating and life-changing results.