“If it’s meant to be, it will happen,” she says about her odds of meeting someone.“In the meantime, I’m exploring the singles scene so when I get reconnected, I won’t feel I’ve missed anything.” The line at the bar has dissipated, but the dance floor remains vacant.
You are competing with their fantasy partner.” His list of taboo revelations includes any previous relationship infidelities and being in recovery for drug addiction. ” Gosse smoothly replies, “After you hear those magic words, ‘I love you.’ Once a person is in love with you, they’re addicted to you like a smoker to nicotine, like a heroin addict to smack. Gosse wraps up the lecture and turns the night over to the DJ.
A man raises his hand and asks when one should make such disclosures. They can’t break it off without suffering horrendous pain and people don’t want to suffer, so they’ll stay with you.” Some women gasp. The lights go down, the music comes up and the entire convention races to the bar for a dose of liquid courage.
Many in the audience scowl or shake their heads in disbelief, but only one man challenges this advice. The singles get their cocktails and settle into tables on the periphery of the dance floor.
Alison Carey and Linda Coker, two professional-looking single moms, sit together watching the DJ’s lights oscillate across the empty floor. Carey explains they’ve traveled from Davis because, “Davis is a college town and we’re not exactly college-aged.” Though they hope to meet people tonight, they’re reluctant to get out and mingle.
“It’s hard to put yourself out there and get rejected,” Carey says.
“Maybe after I have a few more of these,” Coker laughs, holding up her cocktail.
The game starts with mastering dating strategy at a convention The middle-aged professionals gathered for the Northern California Singles Convention have resorted to the “Everything I Need to Know, I Learned in Junior High” approach to mingling.
The men, starched and uncomfortable in sports coats and ties, lean against the back wall of the ballroom at the Red Lion Inn.
Gosse heads American Singles, a nonprofit organization that publishes Possibilities—a newsprint quarterly devoted to dating events and advice, punctuated by ads for singles cruises and mail-order brides.
For 24 years, he’s traveled the world throwing singles parties prefaced by lectures like “A Good Man is Easy to Find.” Tonight is no different.
Wary of cupid’s careless aim, the attendees have paid to learn specific strategies for attracting a mate and, for one night, to test these strategies in a dating pool of others as determined as they.