Women like to see some context – what you do and what you’re into.
If you’re playing the guitar, or playing some kind of sport, those go over very well. Most men embellish their height by one or two inches, or their income by £10,000 to £20,000.
But my goal wasn’t to fuck around, I was here to find that special someone. We took turns, and she rowed with the vigor of a thousand vikings.
The excess of choice made me wary of missing out on my perfect match. To make sure I wouldn’t miss out, I designed a rigorous first-date process. I went on 150 first dates but didn’t manage to find the One. At some point, we got lost and I used this opportunity to steal a magical first kiss. I wanted to tell her that I liked her, but I was anxious that she wouldn’t.
A lot of online dating sites use so-called matching algorithms, but the jury’s still out as to how effective these actually are.
Christian Rudder, the founder of Ok Cupid, said recently that this matching is more of a psychosomatic thing.
Let’s say you go out to a bar or a club – how many women are you realistically going to see who you’re really interested in?
Whereas if you’re on a dating site, you have hundreds and hundreds of prospects.In computer science, this is known as the optimal stopping algorithm, aka the secretary problem. An abstraction layer capable of managing online dating for me: My first problem was solved: getting leads into the pipeline. If I changed my profile picture and got more “likes” as a result, that meant it was better.I was tracking data, which made it easy to see what performed best. I decided to hack the system and go for volume instead of personalization. I was determined to find the One, even if it meant swiping right the whole Bay Area.I needed to come up with a rigorous and scientific process. You need a certain amount of candidates to be able to benchmark what quality means, and humans are really difficult to assess. I had to qualify each lead — see with which girl there was a fit and with which there wasn’t, to maximize chances of finding the One. Openers, follow-up messages, swiping, bookmarking, text messages and phone number recording. I assumed canned messages wouldn’t work well, but after over 10,000 sent, there wasn’t a significant response rate difference between personalized and generic messages. I became an online dating magician who knew how to optimize a profile — A/B testing pictures and message.This one worked, probably because it hides the bulging stomach and the balding head.