Assess Your Respective Sexualities Though I find that most people overemphasize the importance of sex and sexual attraction, intimacy is a factor worth considering.
You’re not going to a get a true picture about someone’s lifestyle in a month; give yourself a few months of dating to make sure that you’ve seen him or her in as many real-life situations as possible.
Think about friends, acquaintances, work colleagues, and even extended family members with whom you socialize.
(It will never be exactly the same for two different people.) Assess Your Proclivity for Indulgences While many behaviors in the extreme form represent a problem or even an addiction, some of those same behaviors can be harmless if not taken to the extreme.
Consider a list of activities that fall on the hedonistic end of the behavioral spectrum: drinking alcohol, gambling, shopping, traveling, and spending, for example.
Other ethnicities, backgrounds, cultures: bring it. I feel very “equal opportunity” in the dating realm. However, I have never dated anyone much younger than myself.
It’s not that I was against it—it’s just that it never happened and I haven’t ever been attracted to anyone that much younger. I knew him through a gig I used to have while working at a boutique in the city.
I’ve heard so many different rules about dating someone older, and they all boil down to a magic number: “Don’t date anyone more than ten years older,” or “Marriages never work if there’s more than fifteen years’ difference.” People love rules, telling themselves that abiding by them will cause them to get hurt less. The most important rule to follow is a general one: Make sure the two of you have the same goals for the relationship and for your daily life together. Think about whether you want to get married; have a big or tiny wedding; have children; be with someone who already has kids; live in the future in the same town or city where you’ve been dating; move somewhere far or close; have extended family very involved or not very involved in your life; have a relationship where you socialize almost always together or often; have a partner who’s more of a social butterfly or homebody; and have a partner who is very involved or not very involved in extracurricular activities. Psychological Age You’ve probably heard someone say, “He seems young for his age,” or “She’s so young at heart.” Though we all have a chronological age, we also have what I refer to as a ‘psychological age.’ How old do you feel, for example? In addition, ask yourself what the psychological age is of your prospective older partner. Again, use those early months of a relationship to gauge whether your sexualities are congruent enough.
Don’t embrace any rigid rule about age differences. Don’t be fooled into thinking that just because someone is older, he or she isn’t very sexual.
Dating someone significantly older than you can be a challenge, not just between the two of you (like when you reference your favorite childhood Disney movie and they can’t relate), but also when it comes to the acceptance of friends and family.
The struggle can be all too real, and these confessions (courtesy of Whisper) show the reality – both good and bad – of having a noticeable age gap between you and your S.
If so, you either need a partner to like the same things, or you need to find someone who is fine with you doing those things without him or her.